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Monday, July 30, 2012

A Mother's Love

Psalm 127:3--Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Life conception is a miraculous and spiritual phenomenon. Before becoming a mother I never really gave it much thought; all the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical involvement. The bond between a mother and child is different for everyone and whether it's good or bad it is the basis for all future relationships. A mother has so much power to make or break a child's self-image and perception of life. A child's first exposure to the world and all its possibilities begin at the moment of conception; they feed off the the mother's surroundings and environment. To be a mother is a honor and a privilege.

I am grateful to still have my mother here with me. I can still turn to her for advice and comfort; cause although I've been afforded the privilege of being a mother to my mother I will always be her baby. When I become a mother I did not take the responsibility lightly. I jumped in with both feet determined to give my children the opportunities I never had. As time has progressed I see bits and pieces of mother in my reactions and responses. I can see in my children the potential I had but never blossomed because I didn't have a support system in place. I see in them the best of me, a better me and sometimes the not so good of me. I cherish every moment with them. As they grow and development into young men I sometimes find it hard to let go but I remind myself that I'm raising boys into men. I want them to grow into the men they were predestined to be before I even knew them. When I look at our relationship in the spiritual I'm in awe with the fact I've been entrusted with two Kingdom builders. My earnest prayer and desire is that I'm laying a foundation they will be able to stand and build on; that when the storms of life rage they may sway a little but they want bend or fall.

I could have never comprehended the ability to love another person like I love them. A love that supersedes space and time. I remember the first time I saw them in my womb, the first time I heard their heartbeat, the first time I felt them kick, watching my belly grow, seeing them for the first time, being the first person to kiss them and say I love you. Being their when they took their first step, said their first words, being a part of all the special moments of their lives, kissing the boo boos, and calming their fears. The moment I will cherish forever is taking them through the plan of salvation as they accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I never imagined being a mother but it's an identity I would trade for nothing in this world. The pain I experienced is nothing compared to their smiles, hugs, or them saying 'Mommy I love you.'

Monday, July 23, 2012

I Won't Complain

"I've had some good days. I've had some bad days. I've had some lonely days and some sleepless nights. I've had some hills to climb. I ask the question Lord, why so much pain? But when I look around and think things over, my good days outweigh my bad days and I won't complain."

Today was the homegoing service of a very special, sweet and loving woman of our church. Although we didn't talk much, she always had a smile and hug for me. This song was sung at the service, the soloist thought it was befitting because she was dealing with cancer and no one really knew. She never complained. She was in church first Sunday (I thank God I showed her love then) and although I knew she hadn't being feeling well she never showed just how much pain she was in. She still exemplified grace and elegance. As Pastor or should I say the Holy Spirit preached the Word I was reminded that I too have no reason to complain.

It's been almost a year (September 29) since the car accident and although my sight has not fully returned to my left eye, I still can see. Although my vision can get blurred (if my right eye is obstructed), I still can see. I can still drive, read, cook and do everything else I need to to care for my family, others and myself. I have so much to be thankful for that it's pointless to focus on this minor distraction. Someone told me to focus on the blessings that God left me with. With all that I've been through I am a walking, living testimony. I am a witness to God's grace and mercy. That accident could have taken so much more, but we all walked away, physically intacted. God was with us that day as He is everyday. I take so much for granted, when it all can be taken away in a moment. When I look in the mirror I know that God isn't through with me and there is so much more He wants me to do.

I've being wondering what it is I'm suppose to be doing. Asking God why isn't my sight getting better. Asking Him why am I having stomach issues (that the doctors cannot explain). Trying to move ahead of Him (applying for jobs, planning to go to school), while He patiently waits for me to "see" Him clearly. If I would just stop for a moment, take some time to enjoy the view and listen quietly for Him---He has already provided me with the answer. It's time to stop looking at my problem and tell my problem how big my God is. He has everything that I need and everything I could possibly want. I WON'T COMPLAIN!

Revelation 21:4--And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Jeremiah 29:11--For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil.

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 23:12--Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Impending Empty Nest

My husband brought to my attention that in 10 years our house will be child-free. The thought brings mixed feelings. I enjoy having the boys around, they are fun and entertaining; they do offer entertainment and laughter. Since they came into this world they have accounted for the majority of my attention. My days are scheduled around them and the things I must do for them. I'm dedicated to exposing them to every available opportunity. I transport to various events and activities, cook, teach, discipline, voluneeter, advocate, heal bumps and bruises and whatever else they may need of me. I do all this without (much) compliant and little thanks. For someone who never envisioned having children I have embraced this role and allowed it to define who I am, often getting lost in the meantime.

So will I be sad? Yes! Will I miss my babies? Definately! But I will also enjoy reconnecting with my husband, exploring some of my hobbies and doing things to better me. The Bible tells us that there is a season for everything. When one season ends another begins. My next season will afford me the opportunity to grow in my relationship with my heavenly Father. I will be able to concentrate on me and what I'm doing. It's a weird feeling thinking about being a part of the "empty nest" group, I still feel so young. As hard as it's going to be to let them go I will have to take strength in knowing I have prepared them as best I can to be men of integrity, with high moral standards, who will not fall into the the traps of this world. I can't protect them from the world but I can cover them with prayer, love and the comfort in knowing our home will always be a place of refuge, support and encouragement. They are welcome home anytime, they just have to call before they come. :-)

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 22:6--Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 21:2--Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the hearts.

Jesus Christ Has Overcome the World

The tragic events in Aurora, CO has once again put our country in a state of mourning. As people we try to wrap our minds around the "why", it saddens and frustrates us when the answers don't come. Lose of life is always hard to deal with but when it's brought on by such an evil tragedy it makes it even more difficult to accept. We are reminded our fragile and precious life is. We are pushed to hug our loved ones a little more. We strive to not take life for granted but to maximize each moment.

It is during our lowest moments of despair that our faith is tested and we look to God for the answers. Some may question Him (His Word), some may doubt, some may get angry and some may even walk away from Him. But He has given us all we need to charter through these difficult waters, His Word and Holy Spirit. It's time that Believers come together, unify and strengthen our brothers and sisters through prayer as they go through their time of bereavement.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  John 16:33

For God is not the author of confusion (disorder) but of peace...  (1Corinthians 14:33a)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength (rock) of my heart and my portion forever.  (Psalm 73:26)

God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear...  (Psalm 46:1-2a)

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  (Psalm 23:4)

Friday, July 20, 2012

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 21:23--Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.

What I'm Reading

Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper

This book is  listed on the Battle of the Books list for my oldest son school. He participated on the team the past two years and he's trying out this year. I decided to read with him to help with discussion.

So far I am enjoying the book. The main character is handicapped and told from her point of view. I've worked with disabled children and it has me thinking if some of them are feeling this way. I will look at disabled individuals in a different light once I finish this book.