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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Night Owl

For the second night this week I'm up at 4am! I don't understand why I can't find sleep. I take my medicine, that's suppose to make me sleepy, and nothing happens. We have a parent/teacher conference in 4 hours! I wonder if this is why my head continues to hurt. Today I slep until almost 2pm, was up no more than 30 minutes and back to sleep I went; my head was hurting so I couldn't stay up. I pray this is something that will not require a doctor visit, I'm tired of seeing doctor's.

Looking on the bright side of things, I have found a lot of information that will help with somethings I want to do with the boys and I have alot of good ideas for Sunday school. For the month of November we will be doing a gratitude journal, identifying 5 things each day we are grateful for. Along with that I want our family to identify a voluneeter project we can do, I would like for us to do something every month. Our boys are so blessed and I want them to learn to appreicate their blessings. I've always wanted to do something and now that they are older there's nothing holding us back.

I have discovered a way to eliminate poptarts and toaster strudels from our budget. I played around with different doughs until I found one the boys fell in love with. So as long as I keep biscuits in the fridge we will be good to go. Being out of work for a month has made my grocery budget even tighter so I have got to get creative. I wish I had a skill or something that could bring in some extra money, until then I will keep clipping coupons and getting ideas from Pinterest.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

As I begin to prepare for my upcoming Sunday school lessons I felt led by the Holy Spirit to switch my focus and begin teaching on how we are impacting the Kingdom. My first lesson was "Impression or Impact": How are you making an impact with your life? I asked the children to think about their circle of friends and the role they play. Are they leading by example or following behind someone making worldly decisions? Do others see the light of Christ in them or do they see someone who doesn't live what they confess? We had some good dialogue and it got me to thinking about my own walk and changes I need to make.

I challenged them to start a gratitude journal for the month of November. Each day they have to write (5) things they are grateful for. Everything has to be positive and they can't list the same thing twice--no repeating entries. The goal is to develope a positive way of thinking and to focus on what they have instead of what they don't have. At the end of the month we will discuss any challenges they faced and what, if anything, they learned.

As I prepared for this lesson it got me thinking about my own kids and the values I am trying to instill in them. We give them so much and sometimes I don't think they fully appreicate or recognize the sacrifices we make for them. I've always wanted us to do some type of service as a family and I feel like this is the time. I came across alot of good ideas and I'm going to give them some things to choose from, so they can have some input and it will have some type of meaning for them. Not only do we need to learn the joy in giving to others but we need to learn to appreicate one another. I believe that we take each other for granted and it's past due for us to show appreication for one another. I pray that God will reveal to me the best opportunity for us to learn these lessons and opportunities that will give us the greatest spiritual growth.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Time and More Time

Two weeks ago I under eye surgery to repair a tear from the car accident a year ago. Post-op the doctor was very encouraging about how the surgery went and how well I was recovering. First follow-up visit brought even more good news--healing well, no swelling, vision test was great, antibotics stopped and weaning off steriod drops. So with all this wonderful news why am I feeling so blue.

So the doctor said no work for 3 weeks, no bending or lifting. My only outing is to church and back. All day everyday I'm sitting and thinking, thinking and sitting. Because of headaches and doctor restrictions, everyday house work is out. I have never been very patient and sitting still has never been a strong attribute. Being out in the sun, which is not a friend, is really not an option but because I need to be the supportive mom I've ventured out to the boys football game.

I was hoping that this could be a time of reflection and reconnecting with God but I don't feel that either. I have gotten back on a plan for reading through the Bible, so far I've been pretty consistent. I want to know that I'm heading in the right direction and I'm doing what God wants me to do and not what I want to do. I want my Sunday school lessons to be practical and beneficial to my students. I want the things I do with the Youth ministry to be Spirit-led and have purpose. I want this time to mean something. I want to be a blessing to my family and to others.

As hard as I try not to I think about how this time out of work will affect us financially. I look as time keeps ticking by and the opportunity to save money for the summer quickly passes by. I think of all the things we need, the boys need and I don't feel like I'm helping my family. I want to work and contribute but I don't really know how. I have so many things going against me right now that getting a steady job isn't really an option right now. What can I do? Where can I go? I like to think I'm creative but I can't think of any way to be profitable with it. I feel stuck between a rock and hard place. I'm waiting for the lightbulb to come on. I love the ability to be home and cook for my family and do things for them I wouldn't be able to do with a "9-5" but at the same time I feel I need to contribute financial as well. I want to be able to do things with the boys, with husband, for myself and others, but how can I when my bank account says no.

I have time and more time but no MONEY!