Night Owl

For the second night this week I'm up at 4am! I don't understand why I can't find sleep. I take my medicine, that's suppose to make me sleepy, and nothing happens. We have a parent/teacher conference in 4 hours! I wonder if this is why my head continues to hurt. Today I slep until almost 2pm, was up no more than 30 minutes and back to sleep I went; my head was hurting so I couldn't stay up. I pray this is something that will not require a doctor visit, I'm tired of seeing doctor's.

Looking on the bright side of things, I have found a lot of information that will help with somethings I want to do with the boys and I have alot of good ideas for Sunday school. For the month of November we will be doing a gratitude journal, identifying 5 things each day we are grateful for. Along with that I want our family to identify a voluneeter project we can do, I would like for us to do something every month. Our boys are so blessed and I want them to learn to appreicate their blessings. I've always wanted to do something and now that they are older there's nothing holding us back.

I have discovered a way to eliminate poptarts and toaster strudels from our budget. I played around with different doughs until I found one the boys fell in love with. So as long as I keep biscuits in the fridge we will be good to go. Being out of work for a month has made my grocery budget even tighter so I have got to get creative. I wish I had a skill or something that could bring in some extra money, until then I will keep clipping coupons and getting ideas from Pinterest.

Attitude of Gratitude

As I begin to prepare for my upcoming Sunday school lessons I felt led by the Holy Spirit to switch my focus and begin teaching on how we are impacting the Kingdom. My first lesson was "Impression or Impact": How are you making an impact with your life? I asked the children to think about their circle of friends and the role they play. Are they leading by example or following behind someone making worldly decisions? Do others see the light of Christ in them or do they see someone who doesn't live what they confess? We had some good dialogue and it got me to thinking about my own walk and changes I need to make.

I challenged them to start a gratitude journal for the month of November. Each day they have to write (5) things they are grateful for. Everything has to be positive and they can't list the same thing twice--no repeating entries. The goal is to develope a positive way of thinking and to focus on what they have instead of what they don't have. At the end of the month we will discuss any challenges they faced and what, if anything, they learned.

As I prepared for this lesson it got me thinking about my own kids and the values I am trying to instill in them. We give them so much and sometimes I don't think they fully appreicate or recognize the sacrifices we make for them. I've always wanted us to do some type of service as a family and I feel like this is the time. I came across alot of good ideas and I'm going to give them some things to choose from, so they can have some input and it will have some type of meaning for them. Not only do we need to learn the joy in giving to others but we need to learn to appreicate one another. I believe that we take each other for granted and it's past due for us to show appreication for one another. I pray that God will reveal to me the best opportunity for us to learn these lessons and opportunities that will give us the greatest spiritual growth.

Time and More Time

Two weeks ago I under eye surgery to repair a tear from the car accident a year ago. Post-op the doctor was very encouraging about how the surgery went and how well I was recovering. First follow-up visit brought even more good news--healing well, no swelling, vision test was great, antibotics stopped and weaning off steriod drops. So with all this wonderful news why am I feeling so blue.

So the doctor said no work for 3 weeks, no bending or lifting. My only outing is to church and back. All day everyday I'm sitting and thinking, thinking and sitting. Because of headaches and doctor restrictions, everyday house work is out. I have never been very patient and sitting still has never been a strong attribute. Being out in the sun, which is not a friend, is really not an option but because I need to be the supportive mom I've ventured out to the boys football game.

I was hoping that this could be a time of reflection and reconnecting with God but I don't feel that either. I have gotten back on a plan for reading through the Bible, so far I've been pretty consistent. I want to know that I'm heading in the right direction and I'm doing what God wants me to do and not what I want to do. I want my Sunday school lessons to be practical and beneficial to my students. I want the things I do with the Youth ministry to be Spirit-led and have purpose. I want this time to mean something. I want to be a blessing to my family and to others.

As hard as I try not to I think about how this time out of work will affect us financially. I look as time keeps ticking by and the opportunity to save money for the summer quickly passes by. I think of all the things we need, the boys need and I don't feel like I'm helping my family. I want to work and contribute but I don't really know how. I have so many things going against me right now that getting a steady job isn't really an option right now. What can I do? Where can I go? I like to think I'm creative but I can't think of any way to be profitable with it. I feel stuck between a rock and hard place. I'm waiting for the lightbulb to come on. I love the ability to be home and cook for my family and do things for them I wouldn't be able to do with a "9-5" but at the same time I feel I need to contribute financial as well. I want to be able to do things with the boys, with husband, for myself and others, but how can I when my bank account says no.

I have time and more time but no MONEY!

Pinterest

Pinterest is my new best friend, I'm thinking where have you been when I needed easy, creative ideas and recipes. I'm pinning and liking like a maniac. What is Pinterest you ask? Well I'm glad you did, lol. It is a site where people "pin" sites/pictures of things they like, interested in, would like to try or do. You can follow people with similar interests or just pin things you like. Thanks to Pinterest I've found, and cooked, several quick and easy recipes that my family has loved. Being on budget and pressed for time (we are full football swing) quick, easy and inexpensive is my best friend. I have found gift giving ideas for teacher appreciation, baby/bridal showers, and any other occasion I can think of. One of my favorite things is finding tv shows, music, movies, games and other things from my childhood; I love reminiscing. Another great thing I've found are recipes that recreate some of my kids favorite foods (pop tarts, gummies, restaurant favorites) and convenient lunch ideas. I have found some very useful blogs that I've subscribed to. If you haven't visited Pinterest I encourage you to stop  reading and go check it out now, you will find me there!

Summer's Officially Over

Survived open houses, got supply lists, schedules, uniforms, lunch bags and back on bedtime routines. Summer is officially over! No more sleeping in late, no more mid day brunches and no more late night computer time. We created many special memories and had an enjoyable, lazy days of summer. Although Labor Day is the officially day according to the calendar, Monday morning the rise and shine, all day grind begins. Packing lunches, checking homework, football practices. The conversation around the dinner table will be a little different this year, for the first time the boys will be at separate schools (one in elementary and one in middle). WOW! Every year I realize this is one summer closer to my babies leaving the nest. So as Monday nears and our summer ends I say farewell, you served us well.

My Memorable Moment

I will never forget the moment First Lady Michelle Obama shook my hand. She visited our state (8/1/12) for a rally to kickoff the remaining 98 days before election day. She was very motivating, inspiring and personable. When she mentioned the stress she and President Obama felt after getting married and the student loan repayments began (being more than their mortgage). She talked about all those who "whispered" in his ear about not pursuing the health care plan, sticking behind the automotive industry and several other things. I did not realize all the things he has accomplished.

I don't portray knowing everything political because I don't. When I shared what I felt was a once in a lifetime encounter satan had to rear his ugly head. Someone basically said she okay but I don't care for her husband because he compromised his religion (when he spoke out in favor of gay marriage). Since then I've noticed that sentiment being made by several Christians. A lady I stood in line with before going into the rally made so much sense when she said, God hates the sin not the person. No I don't agree with gay marriage, I don't think they deserve the same rights as a heterosexual married couple but that is my personal opinion. I understand that politics is a game and no matter which party you affiliate with people will never be pleased. Obama is trying to be re-elected and his position will not always align with his religious views. To say he's right or wrong is not for me to judge, he will have to answer for his choices. I will continue to support him because I believe his good outweighs the bad.

So with that negativity behind me I can continue to relish in the opportunity of hearing, seeing and touching the First Lady of the United States of America. She has motivated me to not only get involved in this election but to believe in the power of one. It takes only one to make a difference. I have the power to touch at least one person everyday. I have the ability to touch lives. I have the power to change a life. So with all that in mind I will not take lightly all that God has entrusted me with. I pray for His guidance and direction, that through it all I remain humble and true to Him.

Proverbs 2:6--For the LORD gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

A Mother's Love

Psalm 127:3--Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Life conception is a miraculous and spiritual phenomenon. Before becoming a mother I never really gave it much thought; all the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical involvement. The bond between a mother and child is different for everyone and whether it's good or bad it is the basis for all future relationships. A mother has so much power to make or break a child's self-image and perception of life. A child's first exposure to the world and all its possibilities begin at the moment of conception; they feed off the the mother's surroundings and environment. To be a mother is a honor and a privilege.

I am grateful to still have my mother here with me. I can still turn to her for advice and comfort; cause although I've been afforded the privilege of being a mother to my mother I will always be her baby. When I become a mother I did not take the responsibility lightly. I jumped in with both feet determined to give my children the opportunities I never had. As time has progressed I see bits and pieces of mother in my reactions and responses. I can see in my children the potential I had but never blossomed because I didn't have a support system in place. I see in them the best of me, a better me and sometimes the not so good of me. I cherish every moment with them. As they grow and development into young men I sometimes find it hard to let go but I remind myself that I'm raising boys into men. I want them to grow into the men they were predestined to be before I even knew them. When I look at our relationship in the spiritual I'm in awe with the fact I've been entrusted with two Kingdom builders. My earnest prayer and desire is that I'm laying a foundation they will be able to stand and build on; that when the storms of life rage they may sway a little but they want bend or fall.

I could have never comprehended the ability to love another person like I love them. A love that supersedes space and time. I remember the first time I saw them in my womb, the first time I heard their heartbeat, the first time I felt them kick, watching my belly grow, seeing them for the first time, being the first person to kiss them and say I love you. Being their when they took their first step, said their first words, being a part of all the special moments of their lives, kissing the boo boos, and calming their fears. The moment I will cherish forever is taking them through the plan of salvation as they accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I never imagined being a mother but it's an identity I would trade for nothing in this world. The pain I experienced is nothing compared to their smiles, hugs, or them saying 'Mommy I love you.'

I Won't Complain

"I've had some good days. I've had some bad days. I've had some lonely days and some sleepless nights. I've had some hills to climb. I ask the question Lord, why so much pain? But when I look around and think things over, my good days outweigh my bad days and I won't complain."

Today was the homegoing service of a very special, sweet and loving woman of our church. Although we didn't talk much, she always had a smile and hug for me. This song was sung at the service, the soloist thought it was befitting because she was dealing with cancer and no one really knew. She never complained. She was in church first Sunday (I thank God I showed her love then) and although I knew she hadn't being feeling well she never showed just how much pain she was in. She still exemplified grace and elegance. As Pastor or should I say the Holy Spirit preached the Word I was reminded that I too have no reason to complain.

It's been almost a year (September 29) since the car accident and although my sight has not fully returned to my left eye, I still can see. Although my vision can get blurred (if my right eye is obstructed), I still can see. I can still drive, read, cook and do everything else I need to to care for my family, others and myself. I have so much to be thankful for that it's pointless to focus on this minor distraction. Someone told me to focus on the blessings that God left me with. With all that I've been through I am a walking, living testimony. I am a witness to God's grace and mercy. That accident could have taken so much more, but we all walked away, physically intacted. God was with us that day as He is everyday. I take so much for granted, when it all can be taken away in a moment. When I look in the mirror I know that God isn't through with me and there is so much more He wants me to do.

I've being wondering what it is I'm suppose to be doing. Asking God why isn't my sight getting better. Asking Him why am I having stomach issues (that the doctors cannot explain). Trying to move ahead of Him (applying for jobs, planning to go to school), while He patiently waits for me to "see" Him clearly. If I would just stop for a moment, take some time to enjoy the view and listen quietly for Him---He has already provided me with the answer. It's time to stop looking at my problem and tell my problem how big my God is. He has everything that I need and everything I could possibly want. I WON'T COMPLAIN!

Revelation 21:4--And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Jeremiah 29:11--For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil.

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 23:12--Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Impending Empty Nest

My husband brought to my attention that in 10 years our house will be child-free. The thought brings mixed feelings. I enjoy having the boys around, they are fun and entertaining; they do offer entertainment and laughter. Since they came into this world they have accounted for the majority of my attention. My days are scheduled around them and the things I must do for them. I'm dedicated to exposing them to every available opportunity. I transport to various events and activities, cook, teach, discipline, voluneeter, advocate, heal bumps and bruises and whatever else they may need of me. I do all this without (much) compliant and little thanks. For someone who never envisioned having children I have embraced this role and allowed it to define who I am, often getting lost in the meantime.

So will I be sad? Yes! Will I miss my babies? Definately! But I will also enjoy reconnecting with my husband, exploring some of my hobbies and doing things to better me. The Bible tells us that there is a season for everything. When one season ends another begins. My next season will afford me the opportunity to grow in my relationship with my heavenly Father. I will be able to concentrate on me and what I'm doing. It's a weird feeling thinking about being a part of the "empty nest" group, I still feel so young. As hard as it's going to be to let them go I will have to take strength in knowing I have prepared them as best I can to be men of integrity, with high moral standards, who will not fall into the the traps of this world. I can't protect them from the world but I can cover them with prayer, love and the comfort in knowing our home will always be a place of refuge, support and encouragement. They are welcome home anytime, they just have to call before they come. :-)

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 22:6--Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 21:2--Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the hearts.

Jesus Christ Has Overcome the World

The tragic events in Aurora, CO has once again put our country in a state of mourning. As people we try to wrap our minds around the "why", it saddens and frustrates us when the answers don't come. Lose of life is always hard to deal with but when it's brought on by such an evil tragedy it makes it even more difficult to accept. We are reminded our fragile and precious life is. We are pushed to hug our loved ones a little more. We strive to not take life for granted but to maximize each moment.

It is during our lowest moments of despair that our faith is tested and we look to God for the answers. Some may question Him (His Word), some may doubt, some may get angry and some may even walk away from Him. But He has given us all we need to charter through these difficult waters, His Word and Holy Spirit. It's time that Believers come together, unify and strengthen our brothers and sisters through prayer as they go through their time of bereavement.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  John 16:33

For God is not the author of confusion (disorder) but of peace...  (1Corinthians 14:33a)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength (rock) of my heart and my portion forever.  (Psalm 73:26)

God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear...  (Psalm 46:1-2a)

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  (Psalm 23:4)

Words of Wisdom

Proverbs 21:23--Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.

What I'm Reading

Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper

This book is  listed on the Battle of the Books list for my oldest son school. He participated on the team the past two years and he's trying out this year. I decided to read with him to help with discussion.

So far I am enjoying the book. The main character is handicapped and told from her point of view. I've worked with disabled children and it has me thinking if some of them are feeling this way. I will look at disabled individuals in a different light once I finish this book.